No, shy people aren’t always introverts (Cheeks, 1981). Introverts are people who prefer to be alone than surrounded by others. They often enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone.

The shy personality trait, on the other hand, is about having a high level of social anxiety—which is defined as “discomfort related to social interactions, or even to anticipation of social interactions (Chavira, Stein, & Malcarne, 2002).

Shy people may want to be around others and be socially active but their social anxiety might be getting in the way. Today, psychologists believe shy personality might be largely genetic as about 20 percent of 4-month-old babies have shown “shy personality (Kagan, 1981, 1994, 1999).” Kagan later found out shy people have more reactive amygdala in their brain as well. Amygdala is a limbic system that is closely related to our judgement related to “fear.”

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References:

A large amount of content comes from: Personality Psychology: Domains of Knowledge About Human Nature 4th Edition by Randy J. Larsen and David M. Buss

Cheeks, J.M. (1989). Conquering shyness. New York: Dell.

Chavira, D.A., Stein, M.B. and Malcarne, V..L. (2002). Scrutinizing the relationship between shyness and social phobia. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 16, 585-598.

Kagan, J. (1981). The second year: The emergence of self-awareness. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Kagan, J. (1994). Galen’s prophecy: temperament in human nature. New York: Basic Books.

Kagan, J. (1999). Born to be shy? In R. Conlan (Ed.). States of mind (pp29-51). New York Wiley.

The idea of bringing an attractive “wing woman” (let’s be honest, she probably thinks you are a friend and nothing more) with you to a party to boost your perceived social standing has been around for a long time. I had friends back in college days, who routinely brought their female friends to fraternity parties by telling them about all the wonderful free drinks they will be provided with.

The question is…does this strategy work? Would other woman find you more attractive somehow because of your seemingly close relationship with this attractive woman?

The answer is yes. In fact, there is even a term in psychology, Mate Choice Copying, which describes “a person’s attraction or or choice of a potential mate influenced by the preferences and mating decisions of others.” (David Buss’s Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind 6th edition, 2019).

According to Oxford Academy website, this behavior of using other’s reaction towards something to “enhance” information of your own has been exhibited in more than 20 species of animals. So humans are not alone in this behavior in general—although, a meta-analysis says mammals were more likely to behave this way compared to other non-mammals.

When closely examining a number of psychology studies conducted on human subjects on this topic, three interesting results stood out.

1. Woman rated men more attractive when they were surrounded by other women versus standing alone (Dunn & Doria, 2010; Hill & Buss, 2008a)

2. Two other additional studies conducted by psychologists like Little, Burriss, Jones, DeBruine, & Caldwell in 2008 & Waynforth in 2007, demonstrated Mate Choice Copying behavior exhibited only when a man (evaluated in the study) was paired with a physically attractive woman.

3. A study was later replicated using videotaped interactions in a speed-dating scenario, and woman only exhibited Mate Choice Copying behavior when the attractive woman showed an actual interest in the man being evaluated (Place, Todd, Penke, & Asendorph, 2010)

So maybe, just bringing a hot female friend to a party sometimes isn’t going to help you too much. Sometimes, your hot friend is going to have to actually show some level of “affection” or “interest” in you for other people to see you as more attractive. Many things (in dating) are case-by-case for sure, but generally, this bring-a-hot-friend idea seems to work!

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References:

A large amount of content comes from: Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind 6th Edition by David M. Buss published by Routledge

Dunn, M. J., & Doria, M. V. (2010). Stimulated attraction increases sex attractiveness ratings in females but not males. Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, 4, 1-17.

Hill, S. E., & Buss D. M. (2008a). The mere presence of opposite-sex other on judgements of sexual and romantic desirability: Opposite effects for men and women. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 635-647.

Little, A. C., Burriss, R. P., Jones, C., DeBruine, L. M., & Caldwell, C. A. (2008). Social influence in human face preference: Men and women are influenced more for long-term than short-term attractiveness decision. Evolution and Human Behavior, 29, 140-146.

Waynforth, D. (2007). Mate choice copying in humans. Human Nature, 18, 264-271.

Place, S. S., Todd, P. M., Penke, L., & Asendorpf, J.B. (2010). Humans show mate copying after observing real mate choices. Evolution and Human Behavior, 31, 320-325.

Oxford Academy Website on “Mate Choice Copying”: https://academic.oup.com/beheco/pages/mate-choice-copying

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more.